As we try to survive in a world surrounded by crime, hate, racism, economic crisis, political madness and so much more it’s becoming harder and harder to actually sense people’s real intentions. It’s almost like when someone smiles at you and you wonder what they really want, quite honestly even when my husband gives me flowers nowadays I raise an eyebrow.
The good news is there are many people who want to do good but have unfortunately lost the ability to express themselves – we have become too rigid and wrapped around issues, problems, life’s bumps and drama.
This of course applies to the one receiving the message and the one giving the message. The one receiving mostly feels there is a hidden agenda and overly analyses what the other person is really saying, and the person giving the message has lost any emotional connection to care if his or her message has been portrayed in the right way – in some cases they are just being practical without being overly sensitive.
Everything about the human race has changed as we are sucked further and further into a digital world. Our adverts have changed, in the past adverts were based on families, love, closeness. These day’s adverts focus on saving, protecting you from viruses, competition, crime, gossip and more gossip.
Modern adverts and billboards basically are conditioning people’s minds to what we are going through and more yet to come, hence without even feeling sometimes we become and act robotically.
We are programmed to follow the majority. The reason I write this is that I have seen it with the closest of people. Everyone is suspicious, I even find people are surprised when someone helps, almost shocked that there are people who do so.
My father has had a fairly difficult life, he was alone at a young age, worked very hard to complete his education whilst working at the same time. His contact with his immediate family, both my grandfather and grandmother, was very limited, so you can imagine how disconnected he was with a family upbringing – love and all that fuzzy stuff!
He gave his children the same experience, cold, mean and harsh in many ways. I remember the first time my father used a term of endearment, I was 30 years old, that was just 10 years ago. I recall this as one of my happiest days ever!
One day someone asked my father, why is it that you’re so cruel, harsh and cold with your children. His answer shocked me, he said “well if they are too attached they will suffer much when I leave this world, I don’t want them to be sad when I leave this world, so me being in it or not will not matter”.
I remember crying that day, because he had a funny way of showing love, he was saving this love for when he was no longer among us – this is what he thought was best. Bless his soul he is very much alive, well and healthy.
This changed my perspective about a lot of things people do and their reasons. I have read horrid stories of people killing family members and so forth because simply they can’t bear the thought of not being around and not being able to protect their loved ones. I know this is extreme, but in their minds all they want is the best for their loved ones. All I want to say at the end of the day is one must analyse the true intentions of someone’s word or action.
Please try to see the kinder version of what you might have thought about, everyone has been conditioned in a different way, everyone is fighting a battle and besides how can you give what you have never experienced yourself. Be patient, be kind and make a choice to see the best in everyone.
Ayesha Al Shoily
Springboard Trainer & Hypnotherapist
Department Head – Special Projects of Ooredoo
Sultanate of Oman
The views expressed by the writer are not necessarily the views of the Springboard Consultancy